phoenix wright turnabout go
by barrylawn
Summary: phoenix wright must overcome a bunch of rabid poke go players, an arrogant livestreamer, and edgeworths twisted logic to save the defendant and find truth behind pokemon go players deadness, CAN HE DO IT?
1. pokemon go

PHOENIX WRIGHT TURNABOUT GO

one day phenix wright was outside his house standing on a stepladder and he was painting his house red because some awesome newspaper had landed in his house for free and he wanted to subscribe to it so he had to paint his house red so that the paperboy would know he was a subscriber. he was nearly done but then THE NEIGHBORHOOD FUCKBOY RAN UNDER HIS LADDER AND HE FELL OFF!

"OOOOOW" shouted phenix "FUCK U BOY!"

but the boy wasnt listening he was on his phone and he was all like

"YESSS I CAUGHT IT!"

he ran away so excitedly that he dropped his phone

"HEY DUMBASS U DROPPED UR- huh?" phenix picked up the phone

there was a pokemon app on and the words "you caught shaymin" were on the screen

he turned the phone and there were more shaymins and he caught them with his balls

"ha wow this fun game" said phoenix

phoenix decided to play this game some more. he went into los angeles city and caught a bunch of grassy pokemon i dont know what theyr called but he caught them.

he trained them and got them to level 50 by the end of the day

however as he was walking home shit went down

"aha hello spikey boy" siad a voice

he turned and saw a group of idiots carrying some guy and then he heard kiyoko's theme from spirit of justice play (ya know the politician guy who goes WEEEEEE in case 5?) because he was just like him

"hey buddeh" said the president like man "nice hair u little porcupine. what u doin out here at this time of night? lookin for a girl"

"who da fuck are you" said phenix

he stretch out his arm exageratedly and twirl then and rest them on his fanboys heads

" _i_ am king kongor. the KING of pokemon go. and who are u, little porcupie? looking for a grilfriend? are u gonna be forever alone?"

"i alredy have one u arogan-"

"no u dont" siad maya

"AHHH MAYA where did yu come from?"

"AAAAHAHAHA" laughed kongor waving his hand around "and who is this i see? wat are those disgusting clothes? are u a shitty weeabo? AAAAHAHAHAHA"

"HEY" said maya "these are my training clothes!"

"ha ha suuuure. so lady lookin for pokemon?"

maya ignore him and walk away

"MAYA TAKE ME WITH YU-" shouted phenix

"wow" said kongor "rude. wat a bitch. she just ignored me. what a bitch right guys"

the shitlords nodded in agree

"yeeeea" said kongor "wat a bitch. so rude. bet shes forever alone. forever a virgin. hey spikyfuck shes perfect for you. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAHAAHAAAAAA!" he waved his hand around like lbelle as he laughed

"OBJECTION!" shouted phenix "fuck you man ill fucking beat you you-"

"boy" said kongor and a guard dog jumped on his shoulders

phenix shook

"keh heh heh" kongor played with the leash. "now phenix no violence. unless you want the bite."

"coward."

"HAHAHA" laughed kongor and he took out his phone "did you all see that, my loyal livestream viewers? this man is a foooool!"

"WAT"

suddenly his twitch chat started spamming shit like "LMAO PHENIX IS A STUPIDFUCK" "DUMBASS! UNLEASH THE DOG!" "YOUR NOT A FAN OF THE SERIES AS A WHOLE!"

"FUCK YOU!" shouted phenix "KING KONGER?! MORE LIKE DONKEY KONGER!"

"GAASP" gasped konger "are you MOCKING ME"

the fanbois growled

"FUCK OFF AND GET PERMABANNED" pheonix raged and he ran away

THE NEXT MORNING

phoenix woke up and SAW IT WAS NINE AM IN THE MORNING!

"yaaaaaawn" he yawned

he went outside and saw paperboy passing by on his bike and oldbag was chasing after him

paperboy threw the newspaper at phoenix and IT LANDED IN THE MAILBOX

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHIIIIIT" shouted phoenix "DID YOUS SEE THAT!?"

nobody cared

phonix took the newspaper inside and red THE SHITTY NEWS, a newspaper thats been around since he was in high school (theres a grete series abot that on utube its called ace attorney high scool its the BEST series ever way better than mattpatt's evil game theery u shud watch it after the chapter.)

he red the article and the headline was

POKEMON GO PLAYER FOUND DEAD

"WOAH ITS A MURDER MISTERY!" shouted phoenix "FINALLY"

phoenix rushed out the door and ran to the detention center

"hey guard wheres the suspect"

"hes coming now"

and then a fat kid came out

"hi" he said quietly

"hi tell me what happen"

"ive been accused of murdering my friend"

"tell me what happen"

"i cant" he cried "or else... OR ELSE..."

"hmmmm this is strange." said phoenix "dont worry ill figure out what happened and get you NOT GUILTY."

pheonix went to the investigation place where ema was waiting

"hey phoenix" said ema

"hi ema" said phoenix "what happened"

"a 16 year old kid was murdered in the park. he was playing pokemon go"

"how do u know"

she took out phone and pogoman kek was on the screen "it has his fingerprints on it"

"how did victim die?" asked phoenix

"he was bitten in the neck by the defendants dog"

"but that was just his dog"

"yea HIS dog so HES responsible"

"FUCK"

===AT COURT===

"court is in session" said udgey

"i am redy ur honor" said phoenix

"i am also ready" said edgeworth

"good" said udgey "make ur opening statement"

"very well" said edgeworth "now, this case is for the murder of the victim tennager, one mr deid boi."

"wow his parents were idiots" said phenix

"the victim was out with his friends playing pokemon go wen the victim caught a shiny linoone which is what the defendant was looking for. as a result, he killed him in revenge."

"i see. please call ur witness" said udgey

and then two guys came in and they were carriaging a carry. the carriage opened and king konger was there

"HELLOOOOOOOO!" he waved to the court

"W00000000000T" screamd the court

"ITS CONGO!"

"YUR THE BEST MY KING"

"NOT EVEN WE CAN MAKE CIRCLEJERKY COMMENTS IN YUR PRESENCE!"

"(great another overrated internet fucklord)" said phenix "(nice. we have our killer.)"

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. donkey congo testifies

TURNABOUT POKEMON GO

CHAPTER 2

"now then" siad edgeyword "mister konger is it tru yu saw murder?"

"yea" siad dankey congo "so true"

"ok" said edgey "give us ur testimony"

"(prepare ta DIE, killah)" thought phoenix

WITNESS TESTIMONY

"i was strolling with mah dog at 7pm"

"i had just spoken with some stupid lawyer and his weaboo grilfreind"

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "i thought u said we wer both virgins"

"its called MOCKING you phenix. gawd. grow a brane. yu jerk. hes rude isnt he boys"

"yeaaaaaah" said the fans

"continue" said edgeworth

"after they fled the battle they cud never win i went to the park to catch some pokemon."

"as i went past i saw a group of teenagers on their phones."

"the fatty virgin over there then threw a tantrum and unleashed his puppy on the victim."

"he bit his neck and he die"

"OBJECTION" shouted phenix "so yu say it was the puppy"

"yea."

"but look at the body and look at the puppy. HOW COULD THE PUPPY HAVE BITTEN THAT BIG?"

"hm" hummed conner "what do use think guis?"

"i think thats bellcrap" said a fakboy

"its unaminous" said king "i declare phoenix wright FULL OF SHIT!"

"urgh" groaned phoenix

"tank u for ur assistant" said edgey

"ha haaa" said kongo "anything to put away fatasses like him! laff mah evil ass off!"

"well wright any last objections?"

"(theres gotta be something left in this testimony i can use)"

so he went over testimony again

"i was strolling with mah dog at 7pm"

"i had just spoken with some stupid lawyer and his weaboo grilfreind"

"after they fled the battle they cud never win i went to the park to catch some pokemon."

"as i went past i saw a group of teenagers on their phones."

"HOLD IT!" shouted phoenix "a group huh? how many"

"why does it matter."

phenix pointed

"BECAUSE A FRIEND IS A WITNESS!"

"oooooh" sweated king

"(hes sweating! hes gotta be the real killer!)" thought phoenix

"D-DAMN U WRIGHT" shouted edgeworth "grrrrr its tru. there were two peeple with the victim."

"so u think this friend is the killer wright" said udgey

"(no) maybe"

"very well. we shall call him to stand"

"kek keh kek" muttered the konger "u'll regret dis pheonix"

"wat was dat" said phenix

kongor glared at him

"wat a bitch" he murdered and he left

TO BE CONTINUED

AN: well dat was a short chapter ooooops.

o well therell be lotsa shit happenin next chapter


	3. cross examining friends

PHENIX WRIGHT

TURNABOUT GO

CHAPTER 3

de friend came to the stand

"name and occupation" said edgey

"...me?" said friend "yu want to know MY name and occupation?"

"yes this is court now pl-"

"HAAAHAAAHAAA" laughed the friend "my name is ash ketchup the star of pokemon CACH EM ALL MODDY FOKTERS!" he flashed his poke ball and den his lightmolif played but it was strange peeple from aa6 for sum reason

"(dam)" said phenix "(mr ketchup is very weerd IRL)"

"soooo" said ketchy "u want me ta give mah testiclemoney about the death of my friend huh"

"the testicle part is unnesseary" said edgey "its not even releva-"

a pokeball hit his face

"YES" shouted ash "i caught a shymain!"

shymain i mean edgeworth hit the desk in frustration

"i am NOT a pokemon!"

"well watever" said ash "u are now. SHYMAIN! USE TESTIMONY!"

he slammed the desk

"my name. is MILES EDGEWORTH. now YOU use testimony!"

"ok"

WITNESS TESTIMONY

"i was hanging around in people park with my pals"

"we were having a dank time catching pokeys but then i needed the toilet"

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "when was this exactly"

"it was 5:59pm"

"how tf can u be so accurate?"

"stfu" said ash "anyway this was a minute before the murder"

"was anyone else at the scene?" said phenox

"of course there was" said ash "you cross examined em earlier didnt you?"

"true." said phenix "(so king was definitely at the scene huh?)"

"now let me continue" said ash

"i went into the restroom and heard arguing outside"

"there was a dog that was barking and victim was screaming"

"the only dog we had with us was the victims"

"OBJECTION!" shouted phoenix "thats not true"

"what yes it is" said ash "daaaamn ur dumb... ok spiky lissen. wat happens wen 3 guys go out and only 1 guy brings a dog?"

"...you get gay?"

"NO" said ash "we only have ONE dog"

pheonix shook his head

"no not one of your dogs..." he slammed his desk "the witness had a dog!"

"...WAT" shouted ash "oh damn ur right!"

"OBJECTION!" shouted edgey "however there is no proof that that dog is the killer"

"well why dont we get him back to testify"

"no" said edgey "weve already herd his testimony and u have NO reason to suspect him!"

"BUT HE HAD A DOG!"

"SO DID THE DEFENDANT!"

"but!" said phenox "...i proved that the puppy cudnt bite him"

"and kingor proved that you were shit"

"FUCK"

"ha ha" said ash and he threw a pokeball and phoenix "damn man. that kingor idiot has a point for once."

"u know him?" said phenix

"yea hes on twitch he livestreams pokemon go hes been banned like 3 or 4 times lmao"

phenix slammed the desk

"yur udgey i demand to hear more about my suspect"

"ok" said udgey "witness testify"

WITNESS TESTIMONY

"yea so king konger is a guy on twitch."

"he goes pokemon."

"thats why he was at the park that day. there were shiny linoones there to catch."

"honestly hes an asshat. i dont know what she was thinking."

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "what about him is ass?"

"hes an ass"

"an ass?"

"the TRUE ass!"

"ok. (i really DO need to find a hole in that ass...'s testimony.)"

he was about to continue when

"wait" said phoenix "wat did u mean by that last part"

"huh? what was she tinking?"

"who is she?"

"o yea there was a gril with him. she mustve been like 15 or somthing"

pheonix slammed desk

"ur honor! this grill is a key witness!"

"NNGGGGGHOOOOO" shouted edgeworth

"sustained." said udgey "but what can she say mr wright?"

"i think mr kongor is the killer! I DEMAND HER TESTIMONY!"

"BULLSHIT" shouted edgey "you have no proof that hes the murderer"

"DOG!"

"PUPPY!"

"FUCK YOU BITCH!"

udgey shook his head

"uuuugh guys please. well let her testify"

"nnnnngh" grunted edgeworth

TO BE CONTINUED

TANK 2 DETSNIY OF SKIWORD FOR GIVING ME ASS CATCHTHEM IDEA


	4. pursuing the truth

turnabout go

chapter 4

the girl came to the stand

"name and job plese" said edgey

"HELLO" smile gril

"hi" said edgey "name pls"

"ooooh kaaay" said gril "and how about my number adress sex orient-"

"your name will be fine"

"ok" said gril "but cmon at least ask for a date before looking for personal-"

"NAME!" shouted edgeworth

"hee hee" giggle gril "my name is skool gril. im a schoolgril"

"ok this is just getting unoriginal step it up barrylawn" said phonix

"so u like want my testimony or wat?" said gril

"yea" said edgey "you were with mr conder at time of murder werent you?"

"awww tee heee" she giggle "kingy is so sweet he gave me a flower wanna see it?"

"no please"

she took out a brown wilted weed

"isnt it pretty?"

"WRIGHT WHY DID YOU CALL THIS BITCH UP HERE?"

wright slammed desk

"for fuck sake witness. TESTIFY"

"aww these two are meen to me"

"indeed" said udgey "witness.. PLEASE give yur testimony"

"hee nice man ok" said gril

WITNESS TESTIMONY

"i was shopping with my friends when this really sexy guy came up to me"

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix "who were these friends"

"they were my school friends gril gril gril and boi"

"interesting (ly NOT. who tf came up with THOSE names)"

"this is irrelevant." said edgey "next statement"

"we talk a bit and next ting i know hes the only friend i hav"

"HOLD IT" shouted phenix "what did u talk about"

"we talk about pokemon go because thats what everyones talking about these days"

"uhhh" muttered phenix

"what"

"(serously? THIS is how we hit on grils today?)"

"is there somthing wrong wright?" said edgey

"uuugh nothing. (were in the age of the idiots.) continue"

"we walked down to people park for fuck sex when i saw horrific seen"

"HOLD IT" shouted phenix "wat wa-"

"god dammit phenix stop pressing every statement ppl will get bored!" shouted edgey

"oops sorry" said phenix

"three guys were talking at the park"

"HOLD IT" shouted phoenix

"OBJECTION"

"NO" shouted phenix "this is relevant i promise"

"...fine" said edgy "question"

"witness what were the guys doing"

"they were just hangin around talkin and then defendant killed the guy"

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "3 problems witness"

"what" siad gril

"first" said phenix taking out document "the guys were playing pokemon go."

"oh..." said gril "well maybe they just put their phones down"

"second" said phenix "ash catchem left to the toiletroom. when murder happen only 2 guys were there"

"oh..." gril sweated

"and third" said phenix pointing "the prosecution claims the PUPPY killed him not the defendant!"

"eeeeeek" squealed gril

"order" shouted udgey "mr right wat do these contradictions mean?"

"it means gril is lying to cover for konger!"

"nooooo! DAMN YU IM BLOCKING U ON FAKEBOOK!"

she got out her phone and blocked phenix

"wait." siad phenix "thats a different phone from before"

"oh" said gril "uh wrong phone"

she went to put it away

"HOLD IT" shouted phenix "where did yu get that phone"

"uhhhh" sweated gril "i... found it in the park"

"WHAT" shouted phenix

"IM SORRY I MEANT TO TURN IT INTO POLICE I FORGOT IM SORRY IM SORR-"

"ur honor i demand to examine this phone"

"uhh ok" said honor

phenix turned on screen

"hmm"

he went onto screen and it lit up

"welcome back, victim"

"oh" said judge "thats the victims phone"

"makes sense" said edgey

"lol oops i guess that was evidence. oopsie" smiled gril

phenix thought for minute

"wait"

"wat"

"so yu pick this up after murder?"

"yea"

"but then..." said phoenix and he presented the phone ema found "WHO THE FUCK OWNS THIS PHONE?!"

"AAAAGH" shouted edgey

phenix serched the phone and it said

"welcome back, x"

"well dats unhelpful" said phenix

"guess u have no proofs of who it is" said edgey

"yes i do! ITS THE KILLERS!"

"ha but that cud be defendant"

"how u know"

"BECAUSE HE DIDNT HAVE PHONE WHEN WE FOUND HIM"

"wait WHAAAAT" shouted pheonics

"hmph rekt" said edgey

"OBJECTION" shouted phoenix "then why arent the defendants prints on this phone?"

"uhhh... AAAAAAK" shouted edgy

"it must have been king! that asshole whos been plaging our contrys poke go players for so long!"

sniff

phenix turn and saw gril holding teers

"i sorry i lie. i dint no king was ass"

"wait wat" said phenix

"it true! IT TRUE. konder used his dog to kill boy!"

"...WAAAAAAAT" shouted edgey

"AHAAAAAA" shouted phenix "THIS GRIL IS THE PROOF I NEED"

everyone started talking

"condor a killer"

"no no no conder is the best"

"fuck you phenix"

judgey gavelled

"ORDER! ORDER! OOORDEEEE-"

"OBJECTION!"

and then KING KONDER WAS AT STAND

WITHOUT HIS BODYGUARDS

"the guards are off, phenix"

TO BE CONTINUED


	5. killer confrontation

PHOENIX WRIGHT TURNABOUT GO

FINAL CHAPTER

"ha ha ha" laughed conder darkly "dont think ur gonna win this, spiky"

pheonix shook his head

"today u burn conodar"

they glare at each other in tension

conder lifted his hand

pointed his little finger upward

and stuck it in his nose

"(...ew)" thought phonix

"ok if u two are done threating each other can we move this along" said udgey

"ok" said conder

WITNESS TESTIMONY

"that skool gril is talking SHIT"

"she is actually an undercover KONGER HATER"

"wen i went up to her she pretend to act like dirty whore so she cud betray me and frame me for murder"

"BUT IT WAS STILL FAT ASS!"

"wen we got to park ash left to toilet."

"then de victim and defendant started arguing because victim caught the last shiny linoone"

"OBJECTION!" shouted phoenix "the defendant didnt have his phone with him"

"bullshit" said konger "its in ur hand"

"this would have his prints tho"

"but then whos is it spiky" said conder

"its ovious. its the killers. wich means its yours"

"AHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA" laughed conder "but YOU CANT PROOOOOOVE IIIIIIIT!"

"SHIT!" shouted pheonix

"heh" said edgey "looks like u have no proof wright"

"for fucks sake THE DEFENDANTS DOG IS A PUPPY HIS DOG IS A MONSTER WHO TF COULD DE KILLER BE?"

"the puppy can be feersome" said conner

"uuuugh" moaned phenix "(ok i gotta tink aboot this)"

he thoght aboot evidank using brain wepon he use on mattpatt

"ok so eggworth says i dont have evidank EVEN THO I KEEP SAYING THE DEFEDANTS DOG IS A GOD DAMN PUPPY! so mebbe ders another evidence i can use"

and phenix went right to the phone "i no dat phone on the crime scene is important wepon it belongs to killer but how can i prove it shud i test if for prints or blood or..."

and phenix decided to serch the phones inside

"ive already checked pokemon go for his name but i just got x. but is there anywhere else on phone i can check"

and then he decided to check the internet browser

"ok dats my plan ill check the internet for his name. but wat website shud i use..."

and then the tunnel turned white and the conclusion came from distance and slapped him on the face

and he RIPPED THE WORDS OFF HIS FACE AND POINTED AT KONGER

"I HAVE PROOF THAT THIS PHONE IS YOURS!"

"ha ha ha ha" laughed conger

he turned to gallery

"did yu hear that boys he has proof!"

the bois laughed at phenix but he didnt even sweat

he slammed the desk

"the proof is on the internet"

"lol go ahead phenix im sure google answers or maybe r/relationships will hav just the anser for you"

phenix shook his head

"im not looking for dumb speculation or shitty dating advice. im looking for EVIDENCE!"

"and where is this evidence?"

phenix slammed desk

"its obvious! the proof that this phone is yours is on TWITCH DOT TV!"

"t...TWITCH TEEVEE?!" shouted conder "whatll yu find there?! third rate hobos idiotic basement dwellers and ME, thats wat!"

"yeah. and YOU will be the first thing i find. BECAUSE YOUR LOGGED IN ON IT RIGHT NOW!"

"UAAAAAAGH" screamed conder

"well, mr conder?" asked phenix confidently "if i go onto twitch on this phone and its logged in on ur account..." phenix turned to face him and pointed at him angry "then it proves that this is ur phone and UR the murderer!"

"FU-FU-FU-" stutter conder

phenix went onto the site and he was logged in as kingkonger

"FUCK!" shouted kong "ha... what a bitch. your such a bitch. such a bitch. look at him guys. so rude. looking through my phone. right?"

"...

...

...

...

...YEAH!"

"(theyre seriously still with him on this)"

and then konger slam stand

"YOULL NEVER CATCH ME!" shouted konger

and then a hellycopter appeared above court and blast the roof open

"KING CONGER! WE ARE HERE TO SAVE YOU" shouted the stupid fanbois

"thats mah ride. SEE YA FUCKIES!"

he grab the rope ladder and climb it up

"NOT SO FAST" shouted pheonix and he and edgeworth climbed up after him

they climbed up inside the hellycopter and den two guns went to phenix and edgys heads

"BUTT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR" shouted the fanbois

"this is illegal!" shouted edgey

"tanks for de input edgy" said photix

dark laughter enveloped the hellicopter

and king kong climbed into the hellicopter

"you missed me, fuckbabies. how tf did u even do that?!"

he laughed at their stupidity

"enough!" shouted edgey "i am arresting you!"

suddenly a hookshot sprang at the phone in phenixs hand it it stole it

"DAMN... that mattpatt theory just keeps get debunked" said phenix

"now phoenix" said kong "prepare to die to my LEVEL 52 BULBODINOSAUR!"

and then a lvl 32 bulldozer came out just as he said

"AHHHH" shouted edgey hiding behind the chair

but phenix stood where he was

"no its time for u to die." and then he took out HIS PHONE "GO SHAYMIN!"

and he took out his level 50 shaymin

and as he did so...

"HEY!" he shouted "shaymins evolving!"

and it did so.

but in a weird way

it evolved into a SHYMAIN!

the shymain fought de bulb like in ace attorney high scool on utube wich is the BEST series ever way better than mattpatt's evil game theery u shud watch it after the chapter.

shymain kicked bulbedman to the other side of the room

but then bulbous sore came back and hit it with magic power dat phenix cant comprahand

"NOOO!" shouted phenix "ITS 2 POWERFUL! LITERALLY 2 POWERFUL ITS 2 LEVELS STRONGER"

"DIE SHYMAIN!" shouted kong as it went to kill

but just then

shymain bounced at saur and hit him in chest

and then he fell back and hit king kong and teh fuckfans with its back

AND THEY ALL FELL OUT OF THE HELLYCOPTER

WITH SHYMAIN PUSHING THEM ALL DOWN

phenix looked down to watch him fall down to erth

"SHYMAAAAAAAAIIIIIN" he cried

it was relly sad

shaymin had sacrifice himself for fenix to kill bulbous and donkey konger

may he forever be remembered for his bravery and loyalty.

the end :(


End file.
